The YouTube Creator Summit is back. This invite-only gathering of content creators has become famous for networking opportunities, inspirational speakers, and swag bags. Those who aren’t invited are itching to get a peek at what goes on at the famed event. Of course, there are videos, with smiling YouTubers having a good time and showing off their cool new gear. But what goes on behind the scenes? What evil strings could the puppet masters be pulling? I’m glad you asked.

One theory is that that The Creator Summit is earnest — a straightforward approach to helping YouTubers create better content for the site. Proponents of this storyline suggest the summit is like a film school crash course, all focused on correcting the most pervasive problem in the vlogosphere: jump cuts. Jump cuts, a staple of YouTube culture, were once taboo among those who created video. Could it be that the Creator Summit is just hours on end of lectures, workshops, editing seminars and film screenings designed to teach this basic bit of film theory?

Others speculate the Creator Summit is where influencers gather to discuss making new, weird types of money. That’s right, BitCoin, LyteCoin and DogeCoin better watch out. Some believe that YouTubers are hard at work, creating a new heavyweight in the crypto marketplace: the TubeBuck. If TubeBuck takes hold, expect it to get support from big name influencers. This theory begs a worrisome question: If TubeBuck were to gain enough popularity, could it have the potential to destabilize the world economy, crashing global markets and putting the nail in the coffin of YouTube’s greatest enemy — Network TV? Only time will tell.

But what if there’s actually no shadow curtain?

But what if there’s actually no shadow curtain keeping the people from knowing what’s happening at the Creator Summit? How could that be, you ask? Simple: The Creator Summit itself doesn’t actually exist — because there are no creators! Could it be that the most followed channels on the site are actually hosted by powerful VFX renderings created with special effects programs? They aren’t actually real people at all, just sophisticated computer animations? What if PewDiePie is just 1’s and 0’s? What if Boogie2988 was created in After Effects? What if LaurenzSide only exits inside a hard drive? Would we really be that shocked to find out that Mr. YouTube himself created all these channels to give the illusion that you were watching different points of view, when really all roads lead back to his singular voice? If you’ve been paying attention, it wouldn’t shock you at all.

One thing is certain; we’ll never really know what’s going on at the Creator Summit until we attend it. Up till then, we’ll only be able to speculate. So, in the interest of truth and transparency, I volunteer to be invited — to be put up in the supposed ‘hotel’ where supposed ‘creators’ meet and discuss the supposed ‘website’. I implore you, Mr. YouTube, if this event is real, invite me so that I can give my readers a glimpse of Truth and get in on the ground floor to become the first TubeBuck millionaire.

Get YouTuber.